DEAR MOMMA
Dear Momma,
This is to any Momma that just got a diagnosis for their sweet baby.
I know what it's like to hear that diagnosis for the first time and thinking, wait what? How do you say that? What does that even mean? Will my baby walk? Will my baby talk? I know what it's like mourning the baby you thought you had. Mourning the life you thought you had. Mourning how your children would be best friends & play together. (They still will be, it will just be different.)
I know what it's like to 100% accept this road you're on. I know what it's like to want to connect with others going through this same thing. I know what it's like to want to do everything you can to help your child progress. If you're not completely there yet, don't worry, one day you will be. Let yourself mourn. Let yourself feel everything. Accept it. Process it. Cry. And then smile!
Because let me tell you Momma, you're in for an amazing journey. God doesn't just send these precious babies to everyone. But He sent one to you. He knows you got this. He knows your the best Momma for this precious baby.
I want you to know what a good Momma you are. You're one of the best. Seriously though. I'm sorry for the struggles you've had and the road you took to get here or maybe you didn't have any time to prepare and you're still a little shocked. I'm sorry for the heartache and the mourning you'll go through. But Momma your child is so precious!
Your child is beautiful. Your child is unique. Your child is loved. Your child will do amazing things, if you let them.
You went to Holland, Momma. I know that's not what you had planned and I know that's not where you wanted to go.
But you're here... and it's so good and so beautiful...
WELCOME TO HOLLAND
by Emily Perl Kingsley.
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
So welcome to Holland, Momma. I know it will take some adjusting and getting used to. But once you're ready, it's the most beautiful place you can be. Look at those flowers! You will learn and grow in ways you never would have. You will meet people, amazing people, that you otherwise wouldn't have. This is your journey now. And it's a good one! I know it will be hard at times. But nothing worth having is easy. You'll realize how truly rare and precious that baby is. They will add a light to your family and to your life, and people will feel it!
In college, I worked with people with disabilities for about 6 years. I fell in love with these sweet people. They made me so happy! It became my passion. I took college courses. I worked at a residential program for people with disabilities, a summer camp - all ages & all abilities and a preschool for children with Autism. I learned so much and I loved it.
I didn't want any of my kids to have disabilities. Most people don't, so I thought, why would I?
My second baby was diagnosed with Congenital Disorder of Glycosylation Type 2 in October of 2016.
I should have known the Lord was preparing me. And that He did and I'm so grateful!
I know we have a loving Heavenly Father who is so aware of us. He's so aware of you and the journey you're on right now. He loves you and He's there for you. You will never be alone in this because He will always be with you. Turn to Him when it's too hard. Tell Him. He wants to hear from you. You are His child and so is your child. He sent you this baby for a reason. Find that reason.
There are amazing support groups out there. Search Google, search Facebook. Find a group of other parents going through this same thing! Find the group that is specific to your child's disability. That will be a great resource for you.
Add me on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter.
I'm here for you!
We got this Momma.
Thanks for reading!
- Jenna
xoxo